


The Distribution of Misery

by Mooselk



Series: Rotation and Reflection [2]
Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Dysfunctional Relationships, Gen, mentions Yona and the dragons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 09:42:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9485489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mooselk/pseuds/Mooselk
Summary: Post Sensui, Hak and Soowon have a fireside chat.AU Hak is on Soowon's side during the coup





	

The silence in the small clearing where they have stopped for the night is suffocating. Hak still hasn’t looked at him. After she- after _Yona_ \- had disappeared with her odd little following and Soowon had finally released his death grip on Hak’s shoulder, it felt like something had shut down inside the general. He had followed Soowon back to their makeshift campsite in stupefied silence.

The quiet shock that emanates from Hak is slowly but steadily changing into something darker and meaner. Soowon knows him. He knows what the small furrow between his eyebrows means, the lines of tension running under Hak's flinty eyes and through his hands, white knuckled on his knees. Soowon sees the tiny shudders that shake the powerful shoulders and knows that those are not calming breaths. Hak is fanning the flames of his own rage and an explosion is inevitable.

Mua and Gyoku trade glances and get up, offering no excuses before moving to the opposite side of the clearing. It is simply an illusion of privacy – if Soowon is reading Hak correctly, this entire forest will hear what Hak wants to say - but the gesture is appreciated.

Soowon looks over at his friend, suffering so righteously and tragically, and feels a faint rush of irritation. He had meant to start this conversation calmly, but when he opens his mouth, what slips out is-

“So Hak, are we both insane now?”

He knows his voice is gentle, friendly, and he knows that it only makes it worse. But for now, the Thunder Beast is silent. Soowon sees his throat move in a painful swallow and presses on.

“Or will you still deny it?”

Hak doesn’t look up, and when he speaks his voice is so low Soowon must strain to hear it.

“No… It was her. Yona…”

He can’t help himself. _Months_ of Hak’s worried glances and doubt have drained him of his patience. Ever since Awa, where he had seen Yona, spoken to her, and then was foolish enough to mention it to his best friend, Hak had been treating him with alternating pity and disgust. Now, justified in his sanity, Soowon’s soft chuckle feels like a knife lodged in his throat.

“Perhaps it is my turn, then. ‘She’s dead, Hak. You’re being driven mad by your own guilt’-

“Shut up!”

Mua and Gyoku visibly jump on the other side of the campsite and two birds spiral screeching into the darkness out of a nearby tree. Hak’s hands have moved to clench the log he sits on, his nails digging into the wood.

It is quiet again, the tense, clawing kind of silence. Soowon thinks about speaking and restrains himself. Hak will bare his sorrows eventually.

He doesn’t have to wait long. The general’s shoulders move again in a tortured sigh.

“She hates me.”

 _Of course._ Soowon curbs the smile that threatens to rise to his lips at the predictability. _Ah Hak, always so single-minded. The world has always been so black and white to you._

“I’d say she hates both of us and is right to do so.”

“It wasn’t meant to be this way. She wasn’t meant to know. How could you let her find out?”

Soowon has imagined this moment so many times that the words feel pre-recorded and unreal. He knows that he shouldn’t feel laughter stirring in his chest because of the righteous sorrow and rage of his best friend. But it’s pathetic, really. He knew that Hak would do this eventually.

“It wasn’t me who was supposed to guard her room that night, my friend.”

“No it was you who was meant to stab her _father_!”

 _Don’t play the moral card on me, Hak._ Soowon thinks, all amusement gone as quickly as it had come. A knot forms in his stomach. His words feel like oil on his tongue, slimy and dark, though they come out as deceptively soft as all the rest.

“Is that jealousy, Hak? Perhaps you wanted to do it.“

“Don’t you dare! I would have never—

“Really. Willing right hand of a usurper king, you would never?”

The clearing falls quiet again. There are deep gouges in the log beneath Hak’s fingers. They sit and stare at the fire.

“She _hates_ me.”

Soowon sighs inwardly. “That was always a risk, Hak.”

Hak’s eyes are bright and desperate, his voice cuts across the crackling of the fire, suddenly loud and angry again. “How can you sound so _dispassionate--_ this is Yona, not just some pawn in your gods- damned plans..!”

He takes a deep, shuddering breath before finally spitting out,

“Why did I follow you, Soowon?”

Soowon’s heart plummets into his stomach. _Ah. Well it had been nice while it lasted._

“Why are you asking me?” His voice sounds unsure to his own ears, but Hak just sits up straighter, hands clenched into fists.

“Because you know, you- you puppeteer, you made me like this-“

“It was a choice _you_ made, Hak. And now you will live with it.”

“Well then I made the wrong choice…!” He slumps back down, bringing his fists to rub at his eyes. His voice drops to a low mutter.

"I belong with her…”

It is dark, the campfire burning low. Soowon allows himself to close his eyes. He suspected this would happen one day but it still hurts, a dull ache in his chest. When he had made the choice to confide in Hak- in his best friend- all those years ago, he had thought that Hak would be by his side forever. But with Yona so beautiful, sorrowful, and righteous… Soowon could never have kept Hak. He just wishes he had had more time to pretend that this alliance - this precious friendship- wasn’t doomed to fail.

But Soowon knows Yona too, knows her anger and her horror. It is what he has lived with for the last ten years. So he opens his eyes again and fixes Hak with his coldest stare.

“She won’t have you now,”

“ You can’t know that!”

“Go to her and you will see. You can blame me if you want, Hak, me who tainted you and led you astray and it won’t make a difference. You are still a traitor. Only then, should you try to turn back to her, you would be a traitor twice over.”

“…theres something _wrong_ with you.”

Soowon wants to laugh again, bizarrely. Hak is coming to these realizations far too late.

“That may be, but at least I follow my decisions to the end.

“…I will go. I must try- I must…see her again, talk to her…”

“I await your return to my side, dear friend.”

Hak rises abruptly and for a moment Soowon thinks he will hit him but then he shakes his head as if to clear it and all but flees into the woods. How he will find that odd little group in the darkness is anyone’s guess. But Hak is clearly not thinking straight, Soowon muses offhandedly. He has even left his glaive behind.

 

* * *

 Soowon rises early every morning. He is sitting in the same spot by the ashes of last night’s campfire when Hak slinks back into camp, looking like he has been struck by lightning, both physically and emotionally. His clothes are torn in a few new places and there are three shallow score marks on his upper arm, almost like large cat scratches. His eyes aren’t crazed anymore. They just look dead. Soowon throws a piece of dried fruit at him. Hak catches it out of reflex and stares down at it, brows knitting in dazed confusion.

“I saved your breakfast for you.” Soowon says airily, with his customary gentle smile, “We started packing up camp but I can’t lift your glaive so if you would handle that—“

The punch that he has been waiting for since last night is gratifying, in a way. It throws him off the log and to the ground, blood spurting from his nose. He can hear the shocked shouts from the guards and raises a hand to stop their approach, pressing the other hand to stem the flow of blood from his nose. It isn’t broken—good, he will not have to explain this to Joo-doh later. Hak’s eyes glitter with unspoken rage and sorrow and he storms past the guards and into one of the tents without a word.

Picking himself up from the ground slowly, Soowon is glad to know that even with all this bad blood between them, to him Yona is still as predictable as she had been as a child. 

**Author's Note:**

> Soowoooooon you antagonizing ass you aren't this mean in canon :'D
> 
> I really hope the general plot line made sense. I planned out this whole sequence of events but it felt more or less completed with just this chunk. I do love scenes where friendships fall apart. Such fun!
> 
> I am greymantleish on tumblr: come scream with me :)


End file.
